There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
