i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
