Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize