you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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