he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
