Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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