We're facebook friends in real life
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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