well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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