she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
