I wanna bring you to show and tell
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
