chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize