So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
