tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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