Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
