Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
