marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
