they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
