There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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