A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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