I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
