my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize