A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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