so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
