Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
