Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
