you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize