i barfeds in our rink
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
