standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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