try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
