I feel like abortions should bother me more
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
