She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
