Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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