i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize