no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
