It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
