what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
