you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
