There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
