ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
