id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
