the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
