I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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