Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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