im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
