I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
