Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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