I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she looked like the before picture.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
