I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
did you just send me my own nude
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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