I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
