this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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