My underwear smells like fireworks.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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