dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize