Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
