Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Randomize
