Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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