her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
