yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
