I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
