it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
this is an emotional support booty call
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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