I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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