We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
